FRIDI. THE BEAUTY OF THE HUMAN BODY (VOL2)

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OOPS!

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ALL FOR A GOOD TIP

Have you ever seen those places where you can order coffee without getting out of your car and the barista serves you wearing nothing but a bikini? They've been running this particular business model in the United States for years, where the caffeine matters, but it clearly isn't the only reason some customers keep coming back every morning.

A few years ago, we dedicated a post to one of the most famous baristas at Bikini Beans Espresso, a chain that realized you can find coffee on practically every corner, but a bikini-clad barista serving it directly through your car window is much harder to forget.

From there, each barista decides how far she wants to take the experience. Some simply prepare your order, smile, and wish you a nice day. Others, when the customer proves to be generous, seem willing to offer a little more than some extra milk in the coffee.

Because a good tip can considerably improve the service and, at certain places, persuade the barista to put on a little personalized show without you ever having to leave the driver's seat.

The coffee might not be the best in town, but some customers certainly leave feeling wide awake.



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Chris's pimple.

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GREEN, HOW I WANT YOU GREEN VOL4

A while ago, we started a little series called Pink, Fuchsia or Magenta, mainly because we discovered that apparently calling everything that looks pink to us simply “pink” is considered an unacceptable oversimplification of the color spectrum.

Apparently not. It can be pink, fuchsia, magenta, blush pink, bubblegum pink, dusty pink... and probably another fifteen shades that someone could distinguish by placing them side by side while we nod along pretending we can see the difference.

Well, exactly the same thing happens with green.

There's olive green, bottle green, emerald green, mint green, pistachio green, lime green, forest green, military green, jade green, moss green... and probably another forty shades of green whose names I don't know and have absolutely no intention of learning.

At ALRNCN, we're simple people. So if it looks green, it's green.

We're not going to waste valuable time trying to decide whether a woman's bra is emerald green with hints of jade or forest green leaning toward bottle green. We have a responsibility to our readers, and there are matters that require our attention far more urgently.

So while color experts can happily argue about shades, saturation and nuances, we'll continue a series based on a much more efficient color classification system:

GREEN, HOW I WANT YOU GREEN.

And inside you'll find women wearing green clothes. Not many of them.

We really don't need to know much more.





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THE EROTICISM OF GALYA

Galya is a Russian-born photographer focused on the nude female body. She's focused and I'm obsessed. We already have something in common.

Her work revolves around the female nude, with elegant, carefully composed photographs where the models aren't exactly trying too hard to hide from the camera.

There's not much playing around with showing without actually showing here. There's skin, there's nudity, and there's plenty to look at, but always through photography that tries to maintain that balance between eroticism, beauty, and naturalness.

A selection of Galya's work to remind us that you can show practically everything without losing your sense of style.





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THE COLOR WHITE VOL4

And here we are: white. After an entire week talking about colors, shades, impossible names and some pretty questionable chromatic boundaries, we're finishing with the one color that seems to have decided not to take part in any of those arguments.

Because there's something funny about white: on paper, it seems like the simplest color of them all. It doesn't need to scream for attention, it doesn't have to be particularly intense, and you're unlikely to hear two guys arguing for ten minutes about whether something is pearl white, off-white, ivory or nuclear white. If it looks white, it's white as far as we're concerned, and we can peacefully get on with our lives.

But then white shows up on certain clothes and all that supposed discretion goes straight out the fucking window.

A white T-shirt, a shirt, a dress or, especially, a good piece of white lingerie can attract a hell of a lot more attention than any color specifically designed to do exactly that. Maybe because it doesn't need much decoration. Maybe because it lets the shapes do all the work. Or maybe because our relationship with colors is a lot less sophisticated than we've spent this entire week pretending it is.

Either way, after making our way through greens, blues, lilacs, reds, yellows and blacks, we've finally reached the end of the road.

And we're finishing with white. No mixtures, no complications and no need to check a Pantone chart to know exactly what the hell we're looking at.

Color week is over.
Now we can finally go back to focusing on what really matters.





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IT'S FRIDAY!

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BLUE VOL4

Yesterday we were talking about green and our particular way of dealing with the enormous complexity of the color spectrum: if it looks green, it's green.

Today we're switching folders and moving on to blue. And we could do exactly the same thing here. We could talk about sky blue, navy blue, electric blue, turquoise blue, petrol blue, cobalt blue, baby blue... but after yesterday's post, I think we've made our position on subtle shades pretty damn clear.

It's blue.

The funny thing is that blue is usually sold to us as the color of calm, tranquility and serenity. A clear blue sky, a calm sea, a crystal-clear swimming pool... All very relaxing, very zen, very much about taking a deep breath and finding your inner peace.

But then you take that very same blue and turn it into lingerie, a bikini, a tight dress or any other strategically placed piece of clothing, and that whole theory about tranquility starts falling apart pretty quickly.

Because colors, like so many other things in life, depend a lot on where you put them.

And considering where the blues featured in this post have been placed, I'm afraid we're not going to learn much about color psychology today either.

But that's not really what we came here for anyway.





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AMATEUR FLESH: GLITCHY BRAT

Some people dream of starting their own business, traveling the world, writing a book, or buying a house by the sea. Glitchy_Brat has slightly different ambitions.

On her Reddit profile, she introduces herself with a line that pretty much sums up her intentions: “Just a girl, following her dreams of being a thot”.

For anyone not completely fluent in internet slang, “thot” originally came from the acronym “That Hoe Over There.”

Not exactly the most flattering term at first, but that's the internet for you. Over time, the word took on a life of its own, becoming a label for sexually provocative women or girls who enjoy showing off online, and plenty of women eventually embraced it and started using it about themselves in a playful, ironic way.

So when Glitchy_Brat says she's “following her dreams of being a thot”, she's basically telling us that she's just a girl chasing her dream of becoming an internet thot.

And you have to give her credit for one thing: she doesn't seem like the kind of person who sits around waiting for her dreams to come true on their own.

Glitchy Brat only opened her Reddit account a few months ago, and since then she's been doing her part to achieve such a noble goal.

And as we always do whenever we find someone out there chasing their dreams, we figured the least we could do was contribute our own little bit to the cause.





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