It's Not a Date, It's a Vibe: Understanding the Art of Casual Flirting

Expectations play a huge role in modern dating, and they can downright ruin your next date. When one person is looking for a serious relationship, and the other just wants to hook up, there's a good chance both parties won't be satisfied.

Luckily, expectations can be addressed, molded, and even carefully defined to ensure your next dates run as smoothly as possible. But to do so, you first must master the delicate art of casual flirting.

Choose the Right Dating Site

Are you tired of setting up casual dates, only to find out the other person is looking for something more serious? Well, you may be using the wrong dating site or app...

Some dating sites are designed to help people find a future spouse or a committed relationship. Other services, on the other hand, are mainly focused on casual dating, meaning they're perfect for setting up a quick sex hookup—exactly what you're looking for!

Choosing the right dating site from the get-go is therefore a good way to ensure your expectations are aligned with the expectations of your next date.

Communicate Your Intentions Clearly

To keep things casual, it's key to let your date know more about your posture towards dating. If you have a profile on a dating app or website, this is relatively easy.

The old 70:30 rule of relationships (spending 70% of the time together and 30% of the time apart) has been adapted to modern dating services. Many experts recommend that your dating profiles are 70% about you (your hobbies, occupation, and so forth) and 30% about what you want (like whether you're looking for a relationship or casual sex). Following this rule is a good way of communicating your intentions clearly, as any potential date will know exactly what you're looking for even before the two of you meet.

If you're an old-school type who's not into apps, make sure you let your dates know more about what you're looking for at the start of the date. It doesn't have to be awkward; you can simply say something like "Right now, I'm focused on self-development and not looking for anything serious"—your date will surely understand what you mean.

Focus on the Present

To keep things casual in dating, it's essential to focus on the present or, to be more precise, avoid talking about the future. One of the main differences between serious and casual dating is that the latter tends to ignore long-term plans.

Casual dating doesn't have to be a series of one-night stands to qualify as such. You can have multiple dates with someone without the relationship having to assume anything serious.

However, if you're meeting someone for a second date and you're planning on keeping things casual, we recommend that you avoid making any projections about the future.

Keep Family and Friends Out of It

The involvement of family and friends is a big characteristic of serious dating. So, to keep things casual, make sure that you and your date are meeting on a "neutral ground".

Set up your first date at a nice restaurant or bar, but avoid choosing a restaurant/bar where you spend a lot of time with your friends and family.

The last thing you want is for your casual dates to start getting ideas—"What do you mean we're not serious? I have even met your best friend!".

Remember It's Fun, Not Work

Serious relationships are deeper, richer, and more rewarding than casual ones, but they take a lot of hard work. Casual dating, on the other hand, is all about fun, and this is something worth remembering.

To master the art of casual dating, keep things light, use humor, be flirtatious, and avoid running into any serious topics.

If you're looking for a future spouse, it makes sense to discuss politics on the first date (for example), as you'll probably want to find someone who shares your political ideas. But if you're just looking for a quick hookup, does it really make sense to dive deep into this sort of divisive topic?

Don't Get Possessive!

This one should go without saying, but it's still worth mentioning. Getting possessive over your casual date is downright wrong and illogical, but it can happen even if you're not interested in a long-term relationship.

Men have to be especially careful about this one, as studies show that they are more sensitive to sexual infidelity than women (who are more concerned with emotional infidelity).

Anyway, if you're dating casually, you 100% need to internalize that your dates are as entitled to being free, single, and ready to mingle as you are.